As a single woman living in Mexico, I often hear from other singles who dream of following my example. For almost all of them, though, their biggest concern is, “What about, um, companionship?”

Let’s face it. We all need someone to love—or just to spend time with. And even if you know how to find friends and romance on your home turf, how do you make connections in Mexico? It’s easy. Here’s my advice from the front lines.

First, take stock of yourself: your likes, dislikes, and personality. You’ll have a better shot at a successful social life if you move someplace in Mexico that matches up with your interests. Be honest with yourself. For instance, are you an urban animal? If so, then don’t move full-time to that idyllic deserted beach—save it for weekends. Hate big-city bustle? In Mexico you can have your choice of laidback lifestyles. This advice holds for everyone, of course, but especially for those going solo.

Look for Love in all the Right Places
Here are some of the largest expat communities in Mexico:

• Ajijic/Lake Chapala: The largest community of U.S. expats in the world. Expats here skew somewhat older, and tend to be couples. This can be a good place to find contemporaries if you’re 60 years old or older. See: www.lakechapalasociety.org.
• San Miguel de Allende: A large mixed U.S./Canadian expat community, many in the arts. Many single women live here—great if you’re a single man wanting to date, or a woman looking for female friends. Check out the English library (called la biblioteca) at: www.bibliotecasma.org.
• Merida: There’s a growing expat community here and in the nearby beach towns, primarily Canadian and American. You’ll find a bit of everything here, and—like the others listed here—this is known to be gay-friendly. Check out the Merida English Library, at: www.meridaenglishlibrary.com. Also see www.yucatanliving.com and www.yucatantoday.com.
• Puerto Vallarta: A little bit of everything here, in an international, tourist-oriented city. Check out the English-language newspaper, Banderas Bay News, at: www.banderasnews.com.

Most importantly, do you speak Spanish? If you don’t, or if you’re still a novice Spanish-speaker, stick to the expat havens where you’ll have other people to talk to. There are expat communities all over Mexico—in both large and small cities, in the mountains, and at the beach—so you should have no trouble finding one that suits you. (Of course, the more Spanish you learn, the wider your options.)

Realistically, you are most likely to find friends (and potential romantic partners) among other expats, at least at first. Don’t assume, though, that this means you’ll be surrounded by folks from your own country. The expat scene in Mexico is international. You’ll find Europeans, Asians, and Central and South Americans, as well as U.S. and Canadian transplants. Expat centers also tend to attract well-traveled, English-speaking Mexicans, so you can make local friends even if your Spanish is patchy.

Most expat havens have a social center. This is a good place to meet people. In some cities, such as San Miguel de Allende, Merida, and Puerto Escondido, it’s at the library. In Lake Chapala, there’s the Lake Chapala Society and other organizations.

You can also seek out activities you’re interested in. Most medium-sized and larger cities in Mexico have orchestras and small music groups, and many have universities. Go to concerts, take a class, or join a film club. Is there a music bar or nightclub that expats frequent? Don’t be shy about going—you’d do it at home, after all. If you’re athletic, get a golf club membership or join a health club. (If you buy in a development, these amenities may be included in the price.)

You can often find out about local activities on websites. All Mexican states have government and tourism websites—they’ll show up in a quick Internet search. In addition, expat areas often have their own websites listing local expat news, activities, and general information. You’ll find more logical places to meet people as you settle in to your new home city.

And, of course, in the end, logic may have nothing to do with finding friends or romance. Two of the happiest couples I know are expats married to Mexican locals, and they break all the rules I’ve just laid out. The expats came to Mexico alone, spoke no Spanish, and moved to areas without fellow expats. Yet they managed to meet and fall in love with locals—and are still happy years later.