My suit jacket was ruined… and I was about to meet a Swiss private banker.
The night before, I’d had dinner with a close friend who runs a boutique investment firm in Zürich.
He’d set up my meeting at Bank Vontobel, one of the city’s oldest private banks, but he’d also made our post-dinner plans.
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Those included a tour of his favourite bars in the Old Town… all five of them.
(Trust me, the stereotype of the dour, sober Swiss financier is a myth.)
Zürich – where old-world charm meets modern financial excellence. A beautiful city to explore and a world-class hub for finance and business.
As we finally wobbled home sometime after midnight, the heavens had opened… drenching me and my suit jacket. It now had water stains, and there was no time to get it dry cleaned.
I looked like Harpo Marx, minus the blonde frizz and harp.
The next morning, as I waited in a conference room overlooking Lake Zürich at Bank Vontobel, I held the jacket over my forearm, affecting the appearance of finding the room just a bit too warm.
Whether the banker would see it remained to be seen.
If he offered to turn down the thermostat, I was in trouble.
Fortunately, the gentleman was most gracious.
If he had any concerns about my less-than-professional appearance, he kept them to himself.
How I Won Over a Swiss Banker in a Ruined Jacket
My dress shirt and silk tie probably made up for my other sartorial shortcomings.
But I think something else mattered more. He could tell I knew my stuff.
I’d been helping Americans invest through Swiss banks for over a decade, though this was my first time meeting a Swiss private banker.
I knew the rules in both countries. I knew why Swiss banks find American clients tricky.
And I knew the big payoff: putting part of your savings in one of the most trusted financial systems in the world.
As a bonus, I knew the special trick Americans can use to put some of their IRA retirement funds under Swiss management. That’s what I was there to talk about at Bank Vontobel.
It’s an approach I’ve been sharing with IL readers for years. Back in 2018, I wrote: “Swiss asset managers don’t party with your money. They grow it safely, aiming for stability and long-term income.”
That’s exactly the kind of steady hand I’d come to Vontobel to talk about.
The fact that at heart I’m a T-shirt, jeans and barefoot sort of guy made no difference.
Put a suit and tie on me, give me a good shave and a haircut, and I can glide through the hallowed halls of one of the world’s most exclusive banking systems with no trouble.
From a Maryland Farm to 100+ Countries
This is the way my life has been: A guitar-obsessed farm boy from the sticks of rural Maryland, exploring over 100 countries, writing up those experiences whenever I could… and occasionally dipping my head into the rarified world of global finance.
I’ve thought on many occasions people like the Vontobel Banker would be surprised if they knew the “real” me. But perhaps not.
I’ve learned over the years that the people I meet during the daytime, during work hours, in fancy panelled offices or on Zoom calls, are often just like me. They’re on their best behaviour at work, but when they get home, and on weekends, they do whatever floats their boat.
For example, my friend, the Swiss investment advisor, is into Harley Davidsons.
I’m a biker myself, so whenever I visit, he jumps on his hog, and I fire up the one belonging to his wife.
Then off we go, touring the inexpressibly beautiful valleys and mountain passes of Switzerland on two wheels. We’ll stop at least three times for a beer in some quintessentially Swiss hole in the wall that only a local would know about.
And then, Monday, it’s back to work.
I’ve been doing versions of this “secret double life” thing for years, in dozens of countries.
Along the way, I’ve picked up tons of insights into the way things work, both officially and unofficially.
I even know how to get a Swiss banker to smile.
Why the Doors Overseas Aren’t as Closed as They Look
So, if you’re interested in understanding how things work overseas before you take your leap, whether it’s about residency and citizenship, investment, or finance, be sure to give me a shout… because with or without a jacket and tie, I’ve got the answers.
Moving or investing overseas is less intimidating than it looks—especially when you realize the Swiss financial adviser in the suit might spend his weekends on a Harley.
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