My heart was pounding. My palms were wet. I couldn't catch my breath.
It was the spring of 1984, and I was sitting on the edge of my bed in Maryland. The same thought kept spinning in my head: Is this it? Am I stuck here forever?
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I was still a teenager. I'd done a couple of semesters of college, but I had no idea what to do with my life. I wasn't going to borrow tens of thousands of dollars to study nothing in particular.
I knew what I didn't want. I didn't want to stay in the same old places I'd known all my life. Maryland wasn't bad. But I'd been there and done that.
One wall of my bedroom was covered with a giant world map. I had a long list of places I dreamed of seeing.
Looking back, I know what those panic attacks were. I was terrified of a "normal" life. When I pictured my future in America, I couldn't see where I fit.
Then young love struck… with a big assist from teenage hormones.
She was a pretty medical student from the University of Cape Town, visiting her brother, a close friend of mine. A few months later, I'd cashed in my savings, sold most of what I owned, and bought a ticket.
That's how I found myself boarding a South African Airways 747 at Dulles International… bound for Cape Town.
How a Student Visa Changed My Life
Before I left, I applied to the University of Cape Town. If I got in, I could get a student visa and stay for a year or so.
I got in. And I stayed a lot longer than a year.
A single visa opened the door to my whole life abroad. And it can for you too—no matter your age. Dozens of countries have visa options tailor-made for retirees… and you don’t have to choose a location on the far side of the world, like I did.
If you’re dreaming of Europe, for example—Italy has excellent options for retirees, and some towns will even help pay your rent. I explain the best ways to stay in my new video, part of our Escape to Italy collection. See how it works.
After seven years in South Africa, I had a master's degree in economics and plenty of job offers. Apartheid was finally falling apart. And the new South Africa badly needed people with my skills to help build its future.
(The medical student, sadly, was long gone by then. Looking back, she was my excuse to ramble. )
Cape Town stopped me in my tracks. I knew this would be my home.
It's one of the most beautiful cities on Earth. But in those days, it was the energy that hooked me. Live music. Cookouts on endless beaches. Sweaty hikes up Table Mountain. Long drives deep into the Karoo desert. Debates that ran late into the night.
I never sat down and decided to build a life there. It just happened.
From Lost Teenager to World Bank Advisor
The biggest change? I grew up.
I'd left the US as a lost teenager. Now I was a young professional in a fast-growing field. I became an expert in financing low-income housing, which the new government was building at a furious pace.
That led to a career as an international development economist. I've advised the World Bank, the UN Development Programme, the International Labor Organization, and the governments of several countries.
Along the way, I've set foot in more than 100 countries. I spent months, even years, working across South and Southeast Asia, Latin America, and Africa.
In 2008, all that experience led to an offer from a major US nonprofit in Atlanta. I moved back with my wife and our 18-month-old daughter.
It didn't last. Cubicle life wasn't for me. I quit in 2013.
Then luck stepped in again. I got an offer to write for International Living. (IL, incidentally, published its first feature on South Africa in 1988; an article by Peggie Cannam entitled, "South Africa—land of sunshine and surprises.")
Today, I'm back in Cape Town, writing to you. I've been an expat for 40 years, and I'm a dual US–South African citizen. I've studied how countries work, from their politics to their economies to their people. So if you have a question about a place, chances are I've been there.
That's why I write for International Living. After 40 years abroad and more than 100 countries, I know the difference between a place that looks good in a brochure and one where you can actually build a life. As an IL member, you get that kind of on-the-ground insight every month.
Is It Too Late to Start Over? Not a Chance
My story is a little unusual. I was living like a digital nomad long before the internet made it possible. I left young, and I fit in so well that I don't feel like an expat anymore. I'm a "Saffa" through and through.
But here's what four decades abroad have taught me: You're never too old to reinvent yourself. You can be as flexible as you need to be to make a new life work.
The trick is to look at the "baggage" you bring from home. Figure out what won't fit your new life, and leave it behind. Learn what your new home values, and make those values your own.
I think of it like a dial inside me. One end says "American." The other says "expat." Most days, my dial is turned all the way to expat. Some days, it swings back. Both are fine.
So if you're wondering whether you could adapt to life abroad, here's my advice: Take the first step and find out.
The fear you feel before you go is almost always bigger than anything you'll face once you're there. I know. I've been there… heart pounding, palms sweating.
Join Us in Europe in 2027!
Portugal, Spain, Italy, France, Greece... You’ll find gorgeous, culturally rich cities and towns and beautiful sunny beaches. You can enjoy a high quality of life—yet a surprisingly low cost of living. Starting at $2,500 a month, a couple can live well. With more, you could live large.
If you’ve been dreaming of life in Europe, join us March 20-22, 2027, for International Living’s Fast Track Europe Conference. We’ll meet in Portugal’s sunny Algarve, and our focus will be on Europe’s best destinations to retire better, live well, and spend less.
