The Real Expat Life in Mexico: Joys, Challenges, and Surprises

The Real Expat Life in Mexico: Joys, Challenges, and Surprises
Expats in Mexico find a life that’s not always easy—but often richer, freer, and more rewarding.|©iStock/EyeEm Mobile GmbH

It’s been almost 20 years since I moved to Mexico. I left my three adult kids, tons of friends, and a community and lifestyle I loved in Santa Cruz, California, to embark on an adventure I thought I was ready for.

Hah.

While I certainly reveled in Mexico’s classic trifecta of great weather, low cost of living, and ease of residency, there were (and still are!) unanticipated discoveries and surprises about “paradise” I hadn’t expected. These run the gamut from funny to peculiar to upsetting. And from the stories in the two anthologies I’ve published, I know I’m not alone in this experience.

Here’s one recent example that captures just how different—and unexpectedly charming—life here can be:

Just the other day I went to the bank to take out some money, usually a painless, easy experience. I noticed there was an armored truck parked outside and armed guards in the foyer, but thought nothing of it, figuring they were picking up or bringing cash. I put my card in the ATM, punched in my PIN—and the screen began flashing on and off with strange, colorful graphics. Alarmed, I motioned to a bank rep inside. She bustled out, looked at the ATM, and told me that it wasn’t working. (Duh.) I said it had been when I put my card in, and she just shook her head. Could she get my card back from inside the bank? No, she said apologetically, they were not able to access it.

More than a little freaked out, I believe I wailed a little and perhaps even put my head in my hands. Replacing a lost ATM card in Mexico is not easy, and I had no plans to visit the U.S. in the near future.

Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and turning, saw my bank card in the hand of one of the armed guards. Shifting his machine gun, he handed it to me. Smiling from ear to ear, he winked and made a “shhhh” gesture.

Would that ever have happened in the United States? Of course not. Did I thank my lucky stars that this kind man thought it appropriate to break the rules and give me my card? You bet I did. Viva Mexico!

The Bright Side

Americans, Canadians, folks—expats—who’ve moved to Mexico gush about how great their new lives are. And I agree, that’s true: many of the most basic things that make up a “good life” just seem easier in Mexico.

The blue sky every day always improves my mood, as does the easy friendliness of people. Just walking down the street to get a coffee, everyone I pass will nod and say “Buenos días!” or sometimes, a hesitant “Hello.” These kinds of small pleasantries never fail to bring a smile to my face and make my day just a little bit better.

Virginia Saunders and her wife, Molly, moved to Puerto Vallarta six years ago and say, “We love the people, the culture, the food, the music, the lifestyle, the sunsets—you name it. Both of us are healthier, thinner, fitter, happier, and mellower than we’ve ever been. Hardly a day goes by that one of us doesn’t say ‘pinch me!’ to the other.”

From her jungle home near Tulum, Joey McCune agreed, gushing that “life is incredible here!”

“The peace and tranquility are unmatchable,” she said. “We love our home, we love the warm, embracing culture, we love the incredible food, we love the lower cost of living and of fantastic healthcare, and we love the beautiful sunshine!”

Whatever expectations and ideas you may have about what your expat journey and new life are going to look like stand a good chance of being upended—but in a good way. Being brave enough to move to another country changes how you see yourself.

“Mexico promotes a sense of adventure that we’ve come to count on and appreciate,” said Lina Weisman, who moved with her husband and son to Sayulita in 2008. “We’re doing something completely different that we never thought we could do.”

Lina Weisman, an expat in Sayulita, co-founded the town’s beloved farmers market.
Lina Weisman, an expat in Sayulita, co-founded the town’s beloved farmers market.

Lina is one of the founders of the Mercado del Pueblo Farmers’ Market, a weekly outdoor market in Sayulita started in 2009 by a handful of friends hungry for organic local foods and products. Now more than 80 vendors offer local artisan produce and prepared foods, traditional crafts, clothing, unique handcrafted products, and more. It has become a beloved community event where locals and visitors can shop, learn what’s grown in the states of Nayarit and Jalisco, eat, listen to live music, and visit with friends.

I did the same sort of thing in Mazatlán, starting the weekly Mercado Orgánico de Mazatlán in 2011. MOM is a much smaller market than Sayulita’s, but it’s the only place in the city where shoppers can buy directly from small organic farmers and producers. I also published a monthly magazine in English for 10 years, modeled after the arts and entertainment weeklies in the U.S.

Mexico makes it surprisingly easy for foreigners to start a business; like anywhere, there are fees and taxes to be paid, but the process is straightforward.

What about safety? Despite the constant headlines in the United States/media about the dangers of the cartels, most expats in Mexico will tell you that those concerns are overblown.

“Unless one is involved in that industry, it’s highly unlikely one will fall victim to it,” said Eric Streit, who moved with his wife and young son from Los Angeles to Mazatlán more than a decade ago. “Cartels are typically very specific and targeted in their shootings, while random mass shootings happen on an almost-daily basis in the U.S.A.—in schools, malls, churches, and movie theaters.”

Lina agrees and says she feels safer in Mexico than in the “open-carry state” they’re from in the U.S., a question she’s been asked “a million times.”

Sayulita’s Mercado del Pueblo brings fresh, local food and community spirit each week.
Sayulita’s Mercado del Pueblo brings fresh, local food and community spirit each week.

The Bad

There’s a basic list: barking dogs, outrageous noise levels, the “mañana” thing, the heat and humidity. Let’s look at some of the other challenges you may encounter that aren’t often talked about.

“Be prepared for nothing to go your way,” said artist/writer Linda Laino, also from San Miguel de Allende. “Things go wrong. People don’t show up. You’re confused (a lot). When things fall apart, you need to either change or deal. It helps to see it as something like theater.”

Veteran expat Lina easily tallies the challenges of living in Mexico.

“Bugs, bugs everywhere. Sweating through everything. Leaving friends behind. Not understanding enough about the culture and the language to not make a fool of myself or really communicate,” she said.

Homesickness—for people, places, and even things—is a biggie. You find yourself longing for familiar products, clothing brands, or foods. The landmarks you’re missing in the lives of friends and family start feeling more significant, and the grandchildren’s graduations, bedtime rituals, and ballet/karate performances pile up, along with a myriad of celebratory photos that you’re not in. Memories are being made without you, and that’s painful.

“Being far from loved ones is one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make,” said Linda.

Eric Streit built a beautiful house in Mazatlán and said they have “a good quality of life for a fraction of the cost of living in the United States.”

“But I’d be lying if I said everything was perfect,” he confessed. “My wife and I both miss living in a place where there’s world-class entertainment every single day and night of the week. There are many things to love about living in Mazatlán. But there are also many things we miss.”

While numbers are vague, possibly 50% of expats will eventually leave, for a myriad of reasons.

“Unmet expectations, the heat, the culture, language, slower pace, and other factors cause them to move either back to their home country or to another destination within Mexico or another country altogether,” said Amy Jones, from Mérida.

Unexpected Pleasures

Amanda Turner found home—and peace of mind—after settling in the lakeside town of Ajijic.
Amanda Turner found home—and peace of mind—after settling in the lakeside town of Ajijic.

Expats with five, 10, 25 years in Mexico say they’ve been surprised by the ways their lives have been enriched. Many say it’s a relief to live a less stressful life where being happy and friendly are the norm.

Amanda Turner moved to Ajijic after traveling the world for years in search of a place to call home. Almost as soon as she settled, she opened El Gato Feo, an award-winning coffee roaster and café. It’s now partnered with a B&B next door—whose owner is her romantic as well as business partner—and is a lively hub of the community.

“In the seven years I’ve been here, Mexico has done something for me I could never repay,” Amanda recounted. “The best thing is that my anxiety has mostly disappeared. What I thought was a frightening place turned out to be one filled with people who instantly treat you like family. When they say, ‘Love thy neighbor,’ in Mexico it’s truly a way of life.”

After five years in Mérida, Amy Jones said she’s learned to let go of expectations and not take herself so seriously.

“Life isn’t only about making money,” she said. “This culture forces you to slow down, to enjoy life, and, most importantly, to live for today. I look at my life and feel like I’m the luckiest person in the world.”

Amy Jones in Mérida, where life feels slower, warmer, and more joyful than she ever expected.
Amy Jones in Mérida, where life feels slower, warmer, and more joyful than she ever expected.

In 2008, the year she moved, Lina started a blog. “When I look at this blog now, I’m almost brought to tears by how beautifully stupid and curious we were. I notice the sense of peace, of freedom, at the sense of belonging we seemed to have found so early on in our relocation to another country.”

Personally, moving to Mexico has helped me become a better person. I’m happier and humbler, with a renewed sense of self and a deeper appreciation for life.

“Here, I feel vibrant and alive, like my life has just begun,” said retiree Jeanne Carr, in San Miguel de Allende. “Living in another country is the best decision I’ve ever made.”

Living abroad isn’t always easy—but the trade-offs, surprises, and unexpected joys have made my life in Mexico deeper, richer, and more human than I ever imagined. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Editor's Note: Want more stories like this? Check out Janet’s other articles featuring expats she’s profiled—on why women are moving to Mexico, tips for making the move, and more:

Share